Can my mum or mum-in-law help with DIY confinement?

You would like to observe the traditional practice of confinement after birth but hiring a confinement lady is pricey. Is it possible to carry out DIY confinement with the help of your mother or mother-in-law? We consider the pros and the cons.

The pros

Having your mum or mum-in-law help you with DIY confinement has a lot of advantages and confinement doesn’t have to be as hard as you think:

  • Confinement is not that complicated. Even if your mum or mum-in-law is not very familiar with confinement rules or recipes, there are many DIY confinement resources available such as websites and cookbooks with recipes to follow.
  • Your mum or mum-in-law already has a wealth of experience. Having brought up babies, she will be able to help you soothe your baby or caring for him at night. She would know what you need to avoid eating or what you should eat more of during confinement.
  • It costs you much less. Having your mum or mum-in law help you with DIY confinement will save you a lot of money, even taking into account an allowance for mum for transport and shopping.

RELATED: Can I afford a confinement nanny?

  • Best of all, you can count on a grandparent’s love. While you worry about whether a stranger would give good care to your baby, you can know for sure that your mum or mum-in-law will carefully watch over her precious grandchild.


The cons

While there are lots of advantages to DIY confinement with family help, the concept of having family involved can bring its own set of complications. If you don’t have a good relationship with your mum or mum-in-law, even free help may not be welcome to you. Consider the following:

  • What is the personality of your mum or mum-in-law? Most professional confinement nannies have patient temperaments, but your own family members may not. If your mum or mum-in-law tends to be bossy, domineering, impatient or careless, she might make your DIY confinement more stressful than restful.
  • Is she a good housekeeper? Not all mums are good at cooking or cleaning. If your mum or mum-in-law isn’t any good at housekeeping, you will have to think about whether you can accept bland meals and an untidy home during your DIY confinement.

RELATED: 12 tips for practicing confinement without hiring help

  • Will she question your decisions? As hired help, a confinement nanny may advise you on the confinement rules but she has to accept your decisions. However, your mum or mum-in-law may think differently from the way you do and she might question your ideas or methods. Are you able to discuss differences agreeably with her?

Weighing your options

If you want to observe DIY confinement, you’ll definitely need help, and the experience of your mum or mum-in-law will be invaluable. That said, it doesn’t mean that she has to move in with you full-time for a month. You could explore a range of options. For example, you can have her come over for a few hours a day to help with the baby, but order a confinement meal delivery service.

RELATED: Why confinement wasn’t for me

Just remember that you should make the decisions that will let you have the most comfortable, supported and relaxing confinement possible.

Photo credit: GPLS Confinement Nanny Agency

If you did confinement with the help of your mother or mother-in-law, feel free to share your experience in the comments section below! Make sure you like us on Facebook, and stay up-to-date on the latest from Pregnant.Sg!