You might be glowing at the prospects of becoming a new mummy, but having an unsupportive husband is the quickest way to put a lid on your happiness. In fact, having an unsupportive spouse during this crucial time of your life is the most common contributing factor for maternal depression. In a sad state of affairs, more and more women are coming forward with feelings of being completely alone and isolated during their pregnancy.
But just because your husband is not the doting kind, does not necessarily mean that he is not the supportive kind. Sometimes you might just have to remind of him.
- You get what you give
At the risk of sounding harsh, have you been honest with yourself? Those crazy pregnancy hormones tend to run havoc at the best of times, and perhaps, just perhaps, you have not been the most pleasant person to be around lately. If you are constantly moody and criticising your husband’s every move, don’t be surprised if he shuts down and becomes unsupportive.
- Stop playing games
So many women make the mistake of falling into a mind-set of “I will support him if he supports me” but this will only open you up for a very unhappy time. You might feel tempted to stop cooking his meals if he refuses to do the dishes, but this will only result in a downward spiral. Something has to give, and it might as well be you for the sake of the bigger picture.
- Ask for support
Instead of playing the manipulation game, ask your unsupportive husband directly for more love and affection. Men are just wired differently, and while you may expect that he should know about your needs, chances are he doesn’t – not until you vocalise them.
- Have an open mind
Men are not so much into the detail, and while you might not be getting the obvious support you want, it does not always equate to an unsupportive husband. He might just have different way of showing it. You can not dwell on all the things he’s not doing, or you will go into another spiral effect. Rather focus on what he tries to do, and build from there.